You are okay, babygirl

I don't know how you can measure strength, or how you understand if a person is strong or not; but I know that I am quite strong myself. 

You know, seeing the person that's been stuck in your mind for a long time hurts, not seeing him, hurts too. Seeing but not even conversing, hurts. Looking into his eyes and experiencing the awkward moment when all those memories, flashbacks are passing through your mind hurts even more. Meeting him from time to time, touching his body with passion, but then acting like you don't give a single fuck hurts the most. 

Basically, you know you're messed up, you are drowning in your feelings, and it hurts.  

I wake up to this pain every single morning, I breathe, even though it's hard. I cry to my loneliness for a short while, then I stand up. I stand up, walk straight to the bathroom, clean the mascara left on my face from the night before, and I look in the mirror. At that exact moment, I just want the whole world to know that I am actually the illest motherfucker alive. I smile, blow a kiss at the mirror, and leave my house while singing some Amy Winehouse.

I might have a fucked up mind, but don't ever tell me that I am not strong. I am very strong and besides all the heart breaking and disappointing moments I've been having, my strength is the only thing that keeps me alive. And of course the dreams...

A tip to all the single ladies that are fed up being single in this world;

"You are okay, babygirl..."

-Ely.